so explain again why im purple
no
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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