I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The power of my boobs compel you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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