If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
