Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Im part way to drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
