ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
