Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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