Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
