I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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