waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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