I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
