yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
