remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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