can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
