some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Non-Jews are for practice
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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