Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
