he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
