whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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