id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
