i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
