i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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