Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
