You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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