His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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