i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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