And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
