are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
3pm strippers are depressing
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
