There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
