i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
