why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
