would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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