But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
