OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
