Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
