420 ftw
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
