Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
