He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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