hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
