I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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