I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When are your genitals available?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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