All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
