Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
