guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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