I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
