whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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