Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
