i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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