did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
