lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
