So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
