My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found your dick twin last night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
