once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
