My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you told grandpa to call you daddy
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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