I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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