she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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