I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize